How to…Feel Empowered in Non-Queer/Heteronormative Spaces

Pace Queer Society
Dec 18, 2017
3 min read

As the end of the year draws near and many students head home for break, Queer Society recognizes that this might not always be an easy, stress-free venture. So, we compiled a list to help our queer friends feel empowered in non-queer/heteronormative spaces (that can definitely be implemented during any time of the year)!

Reframe the situation
Turn the situation on its heel and challenge the people challenging you. Ask them what influences go into their opinions and ask why they think the way they do.
Find humor in unexpected places
Nowadays, humor can truly be found anywhere. Find the humor in that situation and focus on that instead of all the things threatening to bring you down!
Text a friend!
Sometimes all you need to do is just rant with a friend, and just knowing that you have someone on your side is relief enough. It’s a private way to deal with the bullshit currently happening around you that gives you the reassurance you need to get through. Even if your friend doesn’t text back right way, sometimes just the act of typing all of your thoughts down and pressing “send” is relief enough.
Have a friend with you in these spaces that is also queer OR a non queer friend who accepts and affirms your identity!
Better yet, bring your friend! If you know you might enter a situation, or even if you’re just feeling nervous about going to a new place, that could dis-empower you, see if you can invite a friend that can remind you of how amazing you are because you are you!
Wear something that makes you feel CONFIDENT!!!!!
Confidence is so, so important, and wearing what makes you feel confident is an easy way to feel empowered. Whatever outfit that might be for you, wear it when you need a pick me up and know you look as badass as you feel.
Stand up for yourself!
You never have to just sit there and take somebody’s shit. Aim to stand-up for yourself – even if your voice may stutter at first. Make you and your voice heard, and don’t let anyone try to tell what you can or cannot be or do.
Take the time to self-care!
Whether it be coloring, writing, scrolling on your favorite app, or even just getting food from your favorite restaurant self-care is a great way to make you feel empowered and help you continue to feel empowered.
Step out of the room if you need to.
We all need a minute to ourselves. Sometimes stepping out of a negative situation for a minute helps, whether it’s to give yourself a break or to give the conversation a moment to change subjects.
Get coffee/tea
Having your Starbucks (or whichever chain you prefer) order with you is sometimes the little thing that can help get you through. It’s nice to have a sip of something delicious and familiar while in a space that temporarily makes you feel disempowered, like during a class.
Meditate before entering the space and while you’re in the space.
You don’t have to take out a yoga mat to meditate! Simple ways you can meditate are clearing your mind and taking in deep breaths. If you know you are about to enter a stressful situation, try finding some meditation videos online. If you need to meditate because you’ve found yourself in a stressful situation, incorporating some ways of meditation to help calm you and get you through.
Close your eyes and count to ten!
It’s simple, but effective. It’s a nice, easy way to relax and you can do however many times you need to.
Take a nap
Let’s face it, dealing with bullshit and idiocy is tiring. Take a nap afterwards and sleep the negativity off. You’ll wake up refreshed (hopefully) and ready to go back to rocking the world.
EXIT THE SPACE IF IT BECOMES UNSAFE/DANGEROUS!!
NEVER stay in a space that becomes dangerous and unsafe to be in! If you find yourself in a situation like this, find a safe way to get out of there. Call friends or authority figures for help if you need to. Your safety should always, 100%, come first.